Should I or should I not? It seems lately that I ask myself that question every day.  Should I  self-publish my third novel or move on to writing the next one?

Almost seven years ago I impulsively set forth to write my first novel.  I was suffering from cabin fever during a blazing hot summer when we were living in the desert. Long story short, within five months I had my first draft. I joined a writers’ club the following year and soon realized most members were self-publishing. I decided to do the same because it seemed like the right course of action for me. I have since published two books. Of course, neither book has made me famous or even made me much money. But those weren’t my goals either. My goals were to write and enjoy sharing my stories with readers, and I have accomplished both.

But something has changed for me. The third novel I’ve written is the best work I’ve done.  It covers a subject close to my heart and one that I would like to share with as wide an audience as possible. The problem is that I am not good at marketing my own books.  It takes the right personality and skills to proudly market one’s work without fear of rejection.  I’m too much of an introvert, do not enjoy marketing, and, as a result,  don’t sell my books in large numbers.

So, as I often do when faced with a difficult decision,  I weigh the pros and cons:

Pros:  Sharing my work with readers; enjoying the finished product in published format.

Cons:  It’s expensive, and I won’t necessarily earn back my investment. It’s time-consuming and takes away from writing time,  which is important to me.

What to do? I don’t know yet.  But I will decide soon.


My Childhood Book Memories

Old Bones the Wonder Horse by Mildred Mastin Pace was my favorite book during my childhood. I read it several times. I connected with its theme: what we might perceive as weak can surprise us with its strength. Another theme it stresses is the importance of remaining loyal to those who truly care about you. I’ve blogged about the difficult time that I had learning to read, because I was placed in a first-grade class where the students were older and more advanced. But once I learned, there was no stopping me. I read book after book after book. I especially remember Charlotte’s Web, the Little House on the Prairie series, and the “Eddie” books by Carolyn Haywood.

Recently I read Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, for the first time, but didn’t enjoy it as much as I might have if I’d read it as a child. I sometimes think about the books I didn’t read in childhood (never once touched a Nancy Drew title) and wonder if I missed out on anything. By the time I was ten or eleven, I was so eager to read the books my older sister was reading that I did just that. There were no more children’s books for me. Years later, I worked for a while as a children’s librarian and discovered a trove of reading material to enjoy. In a way, I recaptured some of my childhood by enjoying new-to-me characters and titles, including picture books. It was a bright period for me.

I imagine that if I’d had the good fortune to have children of my own, I would have enjoyed introducing them to books, and reading to and with them. But I don’t think we can ever truly enjoy a book on our own the way we did when we read it as children. We adults are perhaps jaded and lack the same enthusiasm. I think sometimes about reading Old Bones again. But maybe I won’t. The experience won’t be the same as when I was a child, and I don’t want to replace those wonderful memories of a book that little me loved so much.


Coming-of-age novels, as I’ve mentioned before, have always been among my favorites in fiction. I don’t know why that is, but I can make some reasonable guesses. Because I especially enjoy character-driven stories, it makes sense that I would like coming-of-age fiction. Also, there is a personal reason. You see, I was a late bloomer. It took me a while to become the mature adult that I am now. I like to think that I’ve learned from my mistakes, and that it’s never too late to continue learning and becoming a stronger, better human being.

Here is a list of coming-of-age novels I’ve recently read and recommend:

The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See. Set in China and Southern California, this story focuses on a young woman, raised in a Chinese hill tribe, who becomes self-sufficient and learns to adapt to city life and western culture.

The Education of Margot Sanchez by Lilliam Rivera. Margot is a fifteen-year-old with a stubborn streak. She makes some wrong decisions and learns life lessons the hard way.

Brown Girl, Brownstones by Paule Marshall. The teenage daughter of Barbadian immigrants faces a difficult search for her niche in American society.

–I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika Sanchez. Soon-to-be filmed. It should make a terrific movie. Julia, the protagonist, has a lot going on in her life, and there’s a reason for her moody ways that goes beyond the average teen’s issues. I especially appreciate the author’s depiction of Mexican-American culture.

Flaming Iguanas by Erika Lopez. A young woman slowly realizes her bisexuality while on a hilarious cross-country motorcycle trek. R-rated for sexual language and visuals (the author’s art work).

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. Another soon-to-be film that should be terrific. An African-American teen’s life is disrupted when her friend is shot by police. She also has to come to terms with the double life she lives in her neighborhood and in the largely white school she attends.

Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok. The young Chinese American girl in Kwok’s novel has to decide between what she wants and what is expected of her.


What I Read in 2017

2017 was a very good year for reading. I did not pressure myself to read a book a week as I did last year. I took my time in choosing the titles I read and as a result didn’t waste my energy with titles that fell short. If I didn’t like a book after reading the first 50 pages, I set it aside and started another. The one exception to that rule was The Wangs Vs. the World by Jade Chang. I continued with it despite my disappointment with the first 50 pages, because it had received some excellent reviews. But I didn’t like the book at all.

Altogether, I read 41 books last year. Here is a breakdown by genre and by author:

–Three were horror stories.

–Four were mysteries.

–One was a western, one was a romance, and one was a fantasy.

–Four were young adult.

–Four were non-fiction.

–Eleven were written by men.

–Five were written by Black authors.

–Four were written by Asian or Asian-American authors.

–Ten were written by Latinos.

Nothing about this breakdown surprises me. However, I notice that over the years my reading habits have changed. I once read many more mysteries and romances than I do now. I read more literary fiction now. What hasn’t changed? I still don’t read many western, sci-fi, or fantasy novels. I’ve never cared much for those genres. I definitely read more novels by Latinos than I ever did before, because there are more being published (though still not enough).

So far this year I have read three novels, and I look forward to many more good reads in 2018.


My Favorite 2017 Reads

Here is my top-ten list of favorite reads of 2017, in order of preference, with #1 being the best. Most of the comments are excerpted from reviews I posted on the Goodreads site. Next month, I will blog in more detail about my 2017 reads. It was a very good year.

1.  Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance. I highly recommend this title to anyone who is seeking to understand this demographic that voted overwhelmingly for Trump.

2.  All They Will Call You by Tim Z. Hernandez. The author brings a true, heartbreaking event (a California plane crash that killed the crew and the farmworkers on board who were headed for deportation) to life through a fictionalized account with beautiful writing and gritty details.

3.  Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok. The challenges of a young Chinese immigrant attempting to assimilate into American society are portrayed in a touching manner. This is not categorized as a YA novel, but it should be.

4.  The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. This novel gave me a better understanding of the Black Lives Matter movement and the day-to-day realities of those who live in poor black neighborhoods.

5.  In a Lonely Place by Dorothy Hughes. This is a creepy, atmospheric novel that takes the reader into the mind of a serial killer. I was drawn to its 1940s L.A. setting.

6.  American Chica by Marie Arana. An autobiography that puts into beautifully written words what many a bicultural child can feel about living in two worlds.

7.  I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika Sanchez. I especially enjoyed the depiction of Mexican-American culture and family in this YA book, and I was able to relate to so much of it.

8.  Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. These two very wise men talk about the path to joy and how we can all achieve it with practice and determination. I listened to the audio book, which I believe made it a more pleasant experience.

9.  Isabel’s Hand-Me-Down Dreams by Isabel Lopez. This is an honest, humorous, and inspirational memoir that tells of the author’s life first in Puerto Rico, then in New York City, and, finally, in Florida, from childhood to middle-age.

10.  The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street Susan Jane Gilman. The main character’s enterprising nature exemplifies all that is good about the immigrant spirit. But she is a complex person who gives in to her worst instincts. She is a fictional character to remember.

Latino Fiction

Every year, I read as many novels by Latino authors as I can, so long as I’m interested in the particular titles, and so long as the characters are also Latinos. It’s important to me to read novels with characters that I can relate to, because we share a cultural background.

Here are the novels by Latino authors that I have read so far this year (in the order read):

All They Will Call You, by Tim Z. Hernandez, is actually a fictionalization of a real event that occurred in the 1940s, the crash of an airplane in central California that killed the crew and passengers, who were undocumented workers. This is a heartbreaking, beautiful telling of a not well-publicized tragic event.

The Inexplicable Logic of My Life, by Benjamin Alire Saenz, who is a popular YA author. I didn’t care for the story’s meandering style, but its characters are well-written.

Haters, by Alisa Valdes, is another YA title and one I quite enjoyed. Valdes is a good writer, and her books, including this one, are page-turners.

Eulogy for a Brown Angel, by Lucha Corpi, is a mystery set in 1970s’ Los Angeles  and San Francisco, with the Chicano Moratorium march serving as a background for the murder of a child. It’s a slow-moving but interesting read.

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter, by Erika Sanchez, is another YA page-turner that focuses on the topics of teen suicide, Mexican culture, and the search for self-identity.

It Can’t End This Way!

I love a happy ending. For me, novels can be an escape from the harsh realities of life. I enjoy entering the world a novelist creates and becoming engaged by the characters and their lives. If the novelist has done her job well, I come to care for the characters and hope the “good guys” enjoy a happy ending. For the most part, the novels I’ve read this year have ended happily, but not all. Stephen King’s Insomnia has a sad ending because one character finds much-deserved happiness only to have it yanked away prematurely. Too bad. I was rooting for him. Lucha Corpi’s Eulogy for a Brown Angel includes a death at the end that seems unnecessary, just another way to add tragedy to the story. But, given that the author uses the main character to start a mystery series, maybe, somehow, this seemingly unnecessary death serves some kind of purpose for the next book. I’ll know if that’s so, when I read the next in the series.

But though I prefer a happy ending, it doesn’t make sense to have one if it doesn’t suit the story’s themes or characters. For example, I loved Jean Kwok’s Girl in Translation, but I did not like the ending. However, I understood why it had to end the way it did: it made sense, given the protagonist’s responsibilities to her family and her goals in life. An ending can also be “bad” if it lets the reader down in terms of expectations. Otessa Moshfegh’s Eileen is a big disappointment. I didn’t like the book from page one, but I was drawn in by the protagonist who kept teasing about a big reveal. There was no such big reveal. For me, it was a complete letdown.

There is also the ambiguous ending, which leads the reader to imagine what the end might mean or leaves the characters’ fates undetermined. I’m not crazy about that ending, either, though to an extent, I was guilty of writing such an ending for my first novel, My Doormat Days. I didn’t even realize it at first, not until readers asked if there would be a sequel, that it had been ambiguous. I finally realized that they wanted to know about the resolution of one of the relationships in the novel. I didn’t think it was important enough to spell it out, but on the other hand, it’s a good sign that the readers cared enough about the characters to want to know what the future held for their relationship.

So , though I prefer a happy ending, it doesn’t make sense to have one if it doesn’t suit the story.

Driven by Character

Yes, I love character-driven fiction. I can almost–almost, but not quite–accept a poorly written novel if its characters are interesting. Occasionally, I like to blog about interesting characters I’ve come across recently in the fiction I’ve read. Here are a few I’ve met this past year:

Eileen in Eileen by Otessa Moshfegh. I downright hated this depressing tale narrated by the sociopathic Eileen. I only finished it because Eileen kept promising a BIG REVEAL, which instead was a big letdown. I should have known not to trust her. Eileen is self-centered and loathsome. But she is unforgettable.

Malka Treynovsky in The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman. Malka starts life as a naïve, hopeful immigrant child who gradually becomes an embittered, successful entrepreneur.

Dix Steele in In a Lonely Place by Dorothy B. Hughes. This guy is one evil dude. The author takes the reader into the mind of a serial killer. Humphrey Bogart played him in the movie, but was not as evil a character.

Selina in Brown Girl, Brownstones by Paule Marshall is another young immigrant, but from childhood she is feisty, rebellious, and sometimes cruel to family and friends. She’s a well-drawn character, but one I couldn’t bring myself to like, because of her cruelty.

Ralph Roberts in Insomnia by Stephen King. Ralph is a senior widower who finds new meaning to life when faced with a supernatural foe. King has always had a knack for creating strong characters. Ralph is real in every way.

The dad in Haters by Alisa Valdes. I can’t remember his name. He’s not the protagonist, but he’s a fun-loving, sweet father to his self-absorbed teenage daughter. It’s a refreshing portrayal of a loving parent.

Antoinette Conway in Trespasser by Tana French. It’s interesting that the most compelling characters are often the most unlikable. Antoinette carries a chip (that is more like a boulder) on her shoulder. But she’s fiercely independent and smart. Tana French mysteries always have detailed, real characters, and Antoinette is one of her best.




Read or Listen?

This month our book club is reading J.D. Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy. I didn’t realize how popular this book is until I searched for it on the websites of my local libraries. There were hundreds of requests at one library but only fifteen at the other, and that’s where I placed a hold. As weeks went by, I grew concerned that the book wouldn’t arrive in time for our book club meeting. So, at the suggestion of a friend, I downloaded the audio edition through a lending service offered at one of the libraries. It’s hard to believe, but this is only the second time I’ve listened to a book. As someone who has been intimately connected to libraries for almost my entire life, it’s amazing that before 2017 I’d never listened to an audiobook!

I don’t know why I avoided audiobooks for so long, especially after colleagues and friends had touted the advantages of listening to a book while mired in L.A. traffic, or spoke of the excellent work of a particular narrator. Maybe I felt that I wouldn’t actually be reading the book and appreciating the written word firsthand. Though I avoided audiobooks for a long time, I am now a convert. I’m not a fast reader. Sometimes I’ll get stuck on a paragraph; my mind will wander (I’ll be thinking about such banal topics as what I’ll cook for dinner or the horribly rude driver I encountered in traffic the day before), and I won’t absorb what I’m reading. I might have to read the paragraph a few times before the words sink in. That doesn’t happen to me with an audiobook. You see, I’m a very good listener and always have been. I listen more than I talk. I can listen to an audiobook and not miss a word, even if I’m also giving myself a manicure or cooking lunch. I finish the book faster than I could if I were reading it. This doesn’t mean, though, that I’ll abandon the physical book for the audio version. A book can be read on a plane or in bed without the need to plug in earbuds. For me, a book is a friend I’ll never give up.

A Vacation from Reading? No!

My husband, John, and I recently returned from a thoroughly enjoyable vacation on a European cruise ship. I’ve blogged before about the fact that I try to take a book with me every time I travel because you never know when you’ll be stuck waiting for a plane, a train, or whatever. Books always help me pass the time. Plus, reading is a part of my life that I hate to leave behind, even if I am on vacation. But this time I did leave it behind. I considered taking my iPad with me so I could read an e-book, but I worried about risking the loss of a valuable item during the bustle of travel. For the same reason, I wouldn’t take a library book with me. In the airport, I scanned the shops for a good book or magazine to purchase for the flight, but nothing appealed to me. Oh, well, I decided, I’d spend time with John and watch whatever video entertainment the airline had to offer. That worked fine for the flight to our destination and throughout the cruise, too.

On the return flight, it was a different story. Unfortunately, John and I were not seated together on the plane. And, again, I found no interesting reading material to purchase. Oh, well, I decided, I would rely on the video entertainment to keep me amused. Big mistake. The video player at my seat didn’t work! Oh, how I missed my books!

Though I was able to have a perfectly wonderful time on the cruise without a  book to read, flying without good reading material is something I will never do again.